Things are clearer now...

As I pursue a position in Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF), the pieces are slowly falling into place.  In a sense, I have been accepted and an account as been set up for me to receive funds, but I still need to meet with the State Committee in January.  And two more things: (1) I still need to successfully complete the 10 week training, which includes writing a 30 page theological paper justifying evangelizing children; (2) and I still need to complete a 1 year internship for the local CEF office.  I seem to be stuck doing internships.  At my age, I am a bit discouraged and frustrated.  It seems like I can't seem to "get off the ground" in serving in God's kingdom.  Sigh...

5 More Sermons to Go

I've looked at my schedule and I have 5 more sermons to prepare before the end of the year.  Due to some misunderstanding I will not be preaching in January, which is the last month I am on staff at the church I currently serve at.  In some ways I am looking forward to this break in serving.  I am burnt out.  Not much left to give.  The sermons are harder and harder to prepare.  I don't have a word from the Lord to give to the congregation.  It is harder and harder to focus on the Lord these days, but I must -- for my own good as well as for the good of the people I am responsible for.

Some positive news....  I am getting closer to coming on staff at Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF) in Northern Virginia.  While I didn't think I did well in my interview with the State Director, the Regional Director (who was also present at the interview) said that the interview went well and that the State Director was impressed.  There will be a State Committee meeting on 11/15/2014, where I hope that the State Director will put forth a favorable reference for me in my application to join CEF.  After that I expect that I will be scheduled to meet the State Committee on 1/10/2015.  If all goes well, I can come on staff.  Somehow, as I think about this time-table, things seem vaguely familiar.  I think I had a dream about this a couple of years ago, but it didn't make any sense because it was not what I expected.  Now I see things falling into place.

I need to start raising funds asap.  It is hard to concentrate on this when I have sermons to prepare, but I suspect that is just some excuse in my mind.  I have the time.  Need to make use of the available time.

at the end of a road

Well, change is coming again!  It's been a rough 7+ years here in VA.  My time has been difficult and painful.  The announcement has been made a couple of weeks ago.  Many saw it coming, but the fact that it is now "out in the open" still has an effect.  I told "J" that I deal with it by tucking it away in a corner of my mind.  Too many other things to think about and deal with.  I've got to prepare for the future.  Taking an online class.  It is more time consuming than I planned.  Can't wait until it is over.  It is an 8 week class.  I'm in week 5 now, I think.  Also, trying to prepare the ministries I am involved with to function without me.  I will most likely be totally gone from the end of Jan. to beginning of April in order to take more classes as I hope to transition to a different ministry organization: Child Evangelism Fellowship.  I still need to put together a prayer letter so that I can mobilize people to pray for me.  Also on top of all this are two very serious counseling issues that recently popped up.  I was kind of aware of one of them, but the second one was a bit of a surprise.  Not sure how to approach each one, but I've got a few ideas.  Thankful to the training I received at WTS.  I've also been preparing my kids for the transition.  We may need to move sometime next year.  That would depend on a number of things.  Something I also need to explore is the possibility of serving "out of bounds" so that I can remain in the PCA and be ordained.  If it is a possibility, then I would need to prepare for the oral exam from the credentials committee.  I expect it to be a very long and tough grilling session of maybe 5 to 6 hours.  But it will be worth it if I can be ordained in the PCA.  It would also help one of my kids keep her scholarship, which is contingent on me being in the PCA.

But while I have all this stuff tucked away in my mind, compartmentalized, I find that something is seeping through every day.  Feeling down a lot nowadays...  I found that cleaning up my home office has been therapeutic.  "J" has also found it encouraging saying that I've "come back!"  I used to go through a cleaning phase at the conclusion of a semester at WTS, but after coming to VA I've been in some kind of funk, constantly walking around in a dark cloud.  What's kept me afloat was keeping my eyes on Jesus.  God has definitely been good to my family and I during these dark years here.  The Lord is good all the time!